July 23, 2009
What Not to Wear (Literally) Living in a house with two girls has resulted in me knowing my way around the programming schedules of such channels as Slice and TLC (No Homo).* This is hard to admit because alot of the shows on those channels are either complete trash (Real Housewives of Wherever) or just supergay (Mostly everything else). Beyond this though there is one guy who just gets my blood boiling regardless of what he’s doing and that is Clinton Kelly of What Not to Wear. Take a look at the above picture and try and tell me this guy should be hosting his own fashion oriented show. I didn’t realize they auctioned off Liberace’s old dinner jackets. I mean come on the guy looks like a comic book character in that jacket and yet he is going on tv and smugly telling people what they should not be wearing. Clinton Kelly is clearly misguided and the picture below should help to further prove that view. I realize this is probably photoshopped but yet again the outfit is just ridicolous. Maybe at a gay bar in Calgary this might fly, but anywhere else you would be getting laughed at. A few too many buttons undone, a few too many bright colours, and one too many straws in the mouth to not scream idiot. As a sidenote WHY THE HELL IS HE IN THE ARCTIC??? I don’t mean for any of this to be homophobic, and in fact I’m kind of disappointed in this guy for not dressing better considering he is gayer than Boy George. Normally gay guys in my opinion lead the way on most male fashion trends but just do it in a way that is a little too flashy for your average guy. For example lets look at the evolution of the pink polo trend. Exhibit A: 2 Gay European men wearing pink polos (1999) Exhibit B: Trend Setting rappers like Kanye and Pharrell start wearing them (2004) Exhibit C: Douchebag frat boys start wearing them to keggers (2006) Exhibit D: Your Dad starts wearing them (2009) So in conclusion Clinton Kelly is a fashionista who must have some serious self hatred issues and pink polos are more played out than Rick James references. * For those of you who weren’t listening to Dipset records circa 2002 here is a link to the definition of “No Homo”. http://www.urbandictionary.com/define.php?term=no+homo

What Not to Wear (Literally)

Living in a house with two girls has resulted in me knowing my way around the programming schedules of such channels as Slice and TLC (No Homo).* This is hard to admit because alot of the shows on those channels are either complete trash (Real Housewives of Wherever) or just supergay (Mostly everything else). Beyond this though there is one guy who just gets my blood boiling regardless of what he’s doing and that is Clinton Kelly of What Not to Wear.

Take a look at the above picture and try and tell me this guy should be hosting his own fashion oriented show. I didn’t realize they auctioned off Liberace’s old dinner jackets. I mean come on the guy looks like a comic book character in that jacket and yet he is going on tv and smugly telling people what they should not be wearing. Clinton Kelly is clearly misguided and the picture below should help to further prove that view.

I realize this is probably photoshopped but yet again the outfit is just ridicolous. Maybe at a gay bar in Calgary this might fly, but anywhere else you would be getting laughed at. A few too many buttons undone, a few too many bright colours, and one too many straws in the mouth to not scream idiot. As a sidenote WHY THE HELL IS HE IN THE ARCTIC???

I don’t mean for any of this to be homophobic, and in fact I’m kind of disappointed in this guy for not dressing better considering he is gayer than Boy George. Normally gay guys in my opinion lead the way on most male fashion trends but just do it in a way that is a little too flashy for your average guy. For example lets look at the evolution of the pink polo trend.

Gayyyyyyyy

Exhibit A: 2 Gay European men wearing pink polos (1999)


Exhibit B: Trend Setting rappers like Kanye and Pharrell start wearing them (2004)

Exhibit C: Douchebag frat boys start wearing them to keggers (2006)

Exhibit D: Your Dad starts wearing them (2009)

So in conclusion Clinton Kelly is a fashionista who must have some serious self hatred issues and pink polos are more played out than Rick James references.

* For those of you who weren’t listening to Dipset records circa 2002 here is a link to the definition of “No Homo”.

http://www.urbandictionary.com/define.php?term=no+homo

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